Welcome, welcome all you sinners. Welcome back from that sit in the "sin-bin" which happens to be the topic of our sermon today, one of the greatest sins a hockey player can commit: taking penalties.
Now there are many misconceptions about the PIM stat. Many GMs, coaches and fans love a guy with a high count in this area. It implies that the player is tough, an enforcer, a nostalgic slice of that old-tyme hockey that fans hold near and dear to their hearts. But what does the stat really mean?
To answer this question, my children, first let's examine how a PIM is committed. However you want to gussy it up, or articulate it, a penalty is
always the result of a
defensive mistake. That mistake might not have been committed by the player assessed the penalty. The mistake might not have been an action that directly lead to the penalty, but somewhere along the line some mistake was made by someone that caused another player to commit a penalty. Now let us talk about all the types of penalties there are.
There are four very simple types of penalties, there are 1) mental errors 2) accidental penalties 3) retaliatory/matching penalties 4) the rare "good" penalties.
The first is the most common and worst penalty. It occurs when one player does something stupid, to be frank, and takes a penalty. It could be a two handed slash across the wrist, running into the goaltender or flipping the puck out of play. Either way it implies that the player
consciously knew that his actions would result in a penalty, but did it anyway. Additionally, the timing and place of a penalty can make it a mental error. Any penalty taken on the penalty kill is the stupidest and worst act to commit. On a 5-on-3, most any team can score a goal if they have enough time. Taking penalties on the power play, or in the offensive zone kill a team's momentum. Anything after the whistle is, again, stupid because the now your penalty had no bearing on the play and is more likely to be called.
Donald Brashear's penalty against the Lightning is a prime example of a stupid penalty: in the offensive zone, on the power play, after the play ends, in plain view of the refs.
The second type of penalty is known as a "sin by ignorance" but ignorance is no excuse. Sticking your twig between your opponent's legs (please don't laugh children, or I shall smite thee with a "game misconduct" and send you back to your box) and he falls, its your mistake. Players must always be in control of their stick and skates. Players should always be aware of where other people are on the ice, whether or not hitting this player would constitute charging, or when to change, a mistake is a mistake, but it still hurts. As mentioned before, penalties in the offensive zone or ill-timed are more crippling that simple accidental penalties.
The retaliatory or matching minor will result in a penalty, but should (hopefully) not result in a penalty kill. While this doesn't put your team at a necessary
disadvantage, in terms of man power, it could if your player is undermanned because of injuries or penalties, or if the player you have matched penalties with is of a lesser skill than yourself. If Brashear and Ilya Kovlachuk both take matching penalties, who comes out on top? Why the Capitals who have just sacrificed one of their less talented players to take out
Atlanta's most talented. Note to all those, however, who think retaliating against your fellow man is not folly. Most often, the man who strikes back is dubbed the sinner and not the other. So retaliation could put your brothers shorthanded and it might be best to turn the other cheek and forgive the other's sins.
Finally, there is the instance of the rare "good" penalties or "sins for the greater good." The long and short of this is that this is any sort of penalty which
directly prevents a goal from being scored and goal is not scored on the ensuing power play/penalty shot. These are rare as it requires many conditions to be true to make a sin selfless. To commit an act which either prevents a goal or a chance for a goal is admirable. However, should that act be in vain, it is a penalty like any other.
So other than the obvious bad consequences of a penalty kill, what are the other bad consequence of penalties? For one, the most obvious, is that it puts more of a strain on the penalty killers, often a group of 6-8 who now must play 2 full minutes together. And if the sinner happens to be one of these "chosen ones" he puts more of an onus on the others. Secondly, it gives the other team extended time in the offensive zone and momentum. Unless their power play is completely shut down, the team will record a few quality chances or shots which could give them a boost. Thirdly, it (usually) keeps your star players off the ice while putting their stars on the ice. Any excuse to play the other team's stars more against a ragged penalty kill unit while keeping your scoring threats off the ice is great. Finally, the "last protector"/your goaltender is now forced to keep you in the game. Putting any sort of pressure on this "gatekeeper" will lead you to ruin.
So ultimately, my children, we see that taking a penalty is always an act of atrocity. Now our "beloved children," the Capitals are 6th worst in times short handed (89 on the year) and thus they suffer dearly. Of the teams ahead of them, only
Detroit has a winning record and
Carolina is the only other team in the bottom 10 which has a winning record. So we can see, children, how penalties can hurt a team's chances of getting that elusive "W."
Now onto those sinners in our midst, children: those who have more than 10 PIMs on the beloved Washington Capitals. 11 players have more than 10 PIMs this year. Of those 11, only 3 have plus ratings (ironically the 3 with the most PIMs), but two of them are +1 (Brashear and
Erskine) while
Brian Pothier has a +6 with 18 PIMs. Only 4 of those players are mulit-goal scorers (
Nylander-5,
Green-3,
Laich and
Clark-2). And only 1 of them has more than 10 points (Nylander 16). Green is next closest with 7 points.
So for the rest of these sinners repent your sins! Play solid defense, refrain from taking meaningless penalties and one day perhaps you will be like the saintly
New York Islanders who, despite having one of the least talented teams (as touted by the pundits in the pre-season) have the fewest Times Shorthanded and are thus 4 games above .500!!!
